Interesting Math Stuff #7: The Scary Movie Formula

An Article states:

Researchers at Kings College, London, found that it's not quite as simple as turning the lights off and spraying the disposable support cast with fake blood.

In this ridiculously complicated formula:

es is escalating music;

u is the unknown;

cs is chase scenes;

t is the sense of being trapped;

a is the character being alone;

dr is how dark the film is;

fs is the film setting;

tl stands for true life;

f stands for fantasy;

n is for number of people;

sin is blood and guts and

s is shock.

My question is: can such factors be quantified? Possibly you could calculate the gallons of blood spilled or the minutes of chase scenes but how do you assign a number to shock or the unknown? My conclusion is that, since not everything in this equation is quantifiable, then it is open to subjection and therefore false and in essence not an equation at all. 

Sources:

http://www.cracked.com/article_19360_7-questions-you-didnt-know-could-be-answered-with-math.html

Math joke of the day: this logical accuracy of this 'equation'